I said it on twitter a while ago and I keep forgetting to update this blog, so there it goes: my humorous science fiction story Terribly and Terrifyingly Normal will be published on the eight tome of the Unidentified Funny Objects anthology. That’s huge for me because UFO is a pro market, meaning that I will be able to apply for membership at the SFWA.
Terribly and Terrifyingly Normal is a time traveling romp about a “normal” man named Terri Normandeau, who discovers that his chronic bad luck in life is caused by agents of the future whose goal is to prevent him to become the next Hitler. It’s also a commentary on the current ascension of fascism in the US (where I live) and Brazil (where I am from).
I haven’t posted in a while, but I finally have really good news to share: my humorous science-fiction novel Terminal 3 will be released on September the 1st (tentative date). I thought about starting using this blog to share a few updates concerning that release, but since I have none other than the date (and the fact that the cover art is a work in progress but the artist is going in a direction I really really like), I will share what got this sale done: the query letter.
The query I sent to Mobius Book was a product of a process where I had submitted a much more formal, serious even, letter to other publishers and agents, resulting in rejections. So I took a big risk and spiced things up by writing a funny letter. I mean, my novel is a work of comedy, so why not? You can read the query letter below.
Close your eyes and imagine… oh wait, you need eyes to read my query, huh? Fair enough. Skip the closing-eyes thing and stick to the imagining. Image the future. No. Not the flossy-glossy one that feels like riding a Tesla driven by an Ayn Rand clone on cocaine. Imagine… No. Neither that one… too dystopian, post-apocalyptic and, let’s be real, kinky – unless you are not into leather. Let’s try again: imagine the future… a future… that is somewhere in between a white straight libertarian wet dream with sexbots and a nightmare Greta Thunberg had during a nap after she ate an expired tofu chimichanga. Can you see that? No? Fair enough, let me cut to the chase then.
The time is the early 22nd century and we, humans, lucked out: it turned out that Earth is in the “fabulous side of the galaxy”. Literally, that’s how they name it. The “fabulous side of the galaxy” is located between Perseus and Sagittarius galactic arms. Just after we humans figured out we are not alone, we got an invitation from our galactic neighbors from the fabulous side to join the wealthy Galactic Confederation (kinda like Nextdoor.com, but a little less creepy and a little more gentrified). In exchange, Earth had to provide a hub for travelers coming from and going to the Norma and Scotus-Centaurus arms, also known as the “fucked up side of the galaxy”, as their planets are not part of the Galactic Confederation and are struggling economically and politically. (Yes, I just dropped an F-bomb in my query letter. Also, I’m very aware that a certain asshole would call them shithole planets. I’m not an asshole, but I’m Brazilian, and Brazil is fucked up, so I can make that joke, kay? Good, moving on.)
So, remember the hub I mentioned? It turns out that this hub is Los Angeles’ Spaceport’s Terminal 3. T3 is overcrowded, has an unfriendly staff and is on the verge of collapse. But it’s not totally bad: J Wing’s toilet stalls have the dopest cruising scene in the quadrant.
And then there’s our protagonist: Gabe Chagas. What he has to do with Terminal 3? Well, his mother Cida was a spaceport security guard. However, when he was 9 years old, back in 2109, Cida was presumed dead after what seemed to be a quantum terrorist attack at her workplace.
After that Gabe spent the rest of his childhood and teen years in Los Angeles’s foster care system and, once emancipated in 2119, he decided to try to realize his dream of becoming a spaceport security guard, in part because he wanted to follow his mother’s footsteps, and in part because he received a cryptic message stating that he should show up at Gate 665 if he wanted to know the truth about what happened to Cida.
See, Gabe could feel in his guts that there was something off with the quantum terrorist attack version of what happened to his mom. As a member of the Terminal’s hapless security personnel, he will face challenges and be pushed to abhorrent chores such as deporting aliens for a living, unaware that his own residency in the 22nd century is jeopardized due to his mother’s status as an undocumented time traveler.
As I mentioned I am a Brazilian writer currently based in the US. I live with my husband in Rehoboth Beach, the gayest city of Delaware (one of the reasons why we decided to move here from a very red suburb of Pittsburgh). I published a novella in Portuguese a long time ago and a few months ago I sold my first short-story in English to NewMyths.com (they made me remove all the F-bombs). If you want to know more about me, NewMyths.com made me answer some biographical questions that you can see here.
As you might have guessed, Terminal 3 is a SF/Humor Novel in the 70,000 word range and was written originally as a TV pilot that was a semi-finalist in the SeriesFest’s Storytellers Initiative. Terminal 3 is about flawed humans trying to be better in a flawed society that… is not really trying to do better, at all. It’s about my experience as an immigrant and a social commentary about that craziness around us. Hope you can give it a shot. If not, I appreciate the time you spent reading my query.
Per your guidelines, you can find the first ten pages of my novel’s first chapter pasted below.
First they promised to deliver their products at home in three business days.
I bought something.
Then they started delivering their products in three business days without a delivery fee.
I bought something.
Then they offered free same-day deliveries.
I bought something.
Then they came up with day-before deliveries. I still had to order and pay for stuff after their free delivery, but without the cumbersomeness of having to decide what to buy. I’m now the owner of ninety crates of pinto beans cans that are now my only source of nourishment.
In my lost post I mentioned that I was submitting my novelette Trial of the Bull to some magazines. So, I sold it to NewMyths.com , and they will publish it on their website in June. I will share the link as soon as it’s available, but I’d invite you to take a look at their amazing e-zine, filled with beautiful fantasy and science fiction short-stories and novelettes that lean toward elevated, emotional themes.
I also finished the first draft of my sci-fi/comedy novel Terminal 3. I am looking forward to submit it to agents and hopefully it will have a better reception than my first novel Serpentine. Unlike Serpentine that is a noir sci-fi that is grimdark as fuck, Terminal 3 can be described as hopepunk, what the kids seem to prefer those days, so I’m optimistic about it. The pitch is:
An idealistic young man joins the callous security guard crew of Los Angeles Spaceport’s terminal 3 – the chaotic hub for travelers coming from and going to the fucked up side of the galaxy.
Next month I will be traveling to LA for the Nebula Conference. It will be my first time attending a big conference like that, so I’m quite nervous, especially because I got an email a few days ago saying that I was added to the list of speakers. I almost had a heart attack until I realized what was going on: I had seen on twitter a few months ago that they were looking for volunteers for what they call Office Hours, an event where people with a certain expertise share it with others that may be interested on that topic. For example: I would be very interested to talk to anyone who is an Astronomy buff (not necessarily an astronomer), in order to clarify some doubts I have for the project of short-stories and novelettes I mentioned in my last post. I told the person who’s been organizing the Office Hours that I would be willing to assist with the logistics of the venue, but after a while she asked if i would be interested in sharing my expertise and I said yes, why not. After all I have a degree in social sciences, worked in social services for years and I’m from Brazil. If anyone needs to talk to someone about those topics, I will be there. And that’s how I became a Nebula Conference speaker. 🙂
Now that I’m pretty much done with my novel I intend to write more short stuff. Today I wrote a vomit draft of a short-story. When done it will be in the range of 2000 words, what is not common for me since my ideas (the good ones at least) tend to require a certain length. We will see how it turns out, but if I’m satisfied with that one I will send it over to all the paying markets in Sci-Fi. In terms of content all I can say for now is that the title is Pandora 4 and it’s EXTREMELY dark, what may hurt my chances to sell it to a bigger market. We’ll see.
As I mentioned in my first post, I am currently writing an SF-comedy novel called Terminal 3. But I am not going to talk about Terminal 3. Instead, I will talk about the project I am planning to develop after I finish Terminal 3. It’s an anthology of 12 stories (lengths TBD, most will probably be novelettes, but it’s possible that a few end as short-stories or novellas). The work title: Constellations of Humanity. It takes place in a future where the different nations in our planet formed 12 major blocks that split the surrounding universe in 12 wedge-shaped quadrants in order to prevent a war on their expansion to the stars. Each story takes place in one of those dominions, which are named after the zodiacal constellations that is in the center of those (if they are seen through the perspective of Earth).
That kind of political arrangement was inspired by the Tordesillas Treaty between Spain and Portugal during the brief time they were both the two European only superpowers with Oceanic navigation capabilities. In order to avoid a war they decide to split the world in the 2: everything West of the Tordesillas line was to be exploited by Spain (most of the Americas except a strip of today’s Brazil and Canada’s Newfoundland and Labrador), what gave both nations what they truly wanted: Spain’s unencumbered access to the riches of the Aztec and Inca Empire and non-competition with its immediate neighbor over the Indian Spice Trade to Portugal . Obviously that treaty did not include the other European nations that quickly rose up to the challenge of colonization of New World over the territories claimed by both Spain and Portugal. The Dutch also quickly became a major competitor for Portugal Spice Trade.
Anyway, in my project there will be none of that. Everybody is included, although sometimes involuntary (in the future I imagined, Japan went back to its imperialistic aspirations and annexed the Koreas). Another feature is in this reality is a major enterprise called Zodiac Corporation that is present is every one of the 12 quadrants as has its own set of laws for their economic projects, although those laws are limited by Terran law (i.e., the laws from Earth, which still exists as a capital at which the 12 quadrants convene in a Senate).
Now, if you are thinking that it will be a gritty political epic, you thought wrong. Most of the stories are supposed to be about individuals that live in those quadrants. Most of them will be common folks. The first and only novelette of that anthology I wrote so far, for example, is about a girl who survived a civil war in the Pleiades and has to join the father, who was stranded in the Aldebaran solar system during the whole war. I submitted this story (named Trial of the Bull) to several magazines. The big ones such as Clarkesworld rejected it based solely on the query letter, without reading the actual story. I’m still waiting for answers for some and there is an e-zine that informed me that they are keeping it in their shortlist and will tell me in April if they will buy it.
I may write another post explaining what it all means, hopefully if I have the chance to announce that Trial of the Bull was sold. Crossing fingers!
I decided to create a website for my literary persona. Not sure if it’s a good idea to spend time writing about my writing instead of doing the actual writing, but here we are.
A brief introduction about me in case you landed on this website accidentally: I am a sci-fi writer currently submitting my sci-fi/mystery novel Serpentine to agents and publishers and my sci-fi novelette Trial of the Bull to magazines. I am currently working on my second novel, Terminal 3, which is a sci/fi comedy in the vein of Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy.
That’s it, for now. Feel free to check me on twitter too and thanks for passing by!